I don't write like I should - the time and energy slip away too quickly even though I lie awake at times just thinking, just wondering....just feeling.
The pain numbs the brain. It burdens the body. It sucks the life out of me at times. I know you know if you have chronic pain in your life. I know you know if you have some ailment that keeps you from being complete.
You never know what tomorrow may bring. You strive to be the best you can be. You run through the fields and onto the fire but then you burn OUT. You crash because your body has halted. It is exhausted. Not just today but always. Yout body is riddled with agony of defeat. It is inflamed. It is shooting bullets in and out of you. It tears you down and drags you along until you cannot think straight.
You dwell on your thoughts, the what-ifs, might of been, the what can I change to make it better. You suffer sometimes in silence, sometimes with tears, sometimes with a fierceness that strikes from deep with in.
You grieve the loss of what you had, you are strangely grateful for what you do have.
You never lose hope.....
